Communication is a vital tool for existence both in human and animal
kingdom. Communication gives us the sense of identity and expands our horizon
in all sphere of life. But for communication to be complete and effective, we must
develop the skills of listening.
How does a new born baby come to understand his parents’ language? It is
because; he first developed the sense of listening in order to communicate with
his parents.
This skill as vital as it seems, most people don’t realise its importance
in their lives. In most cases where two or more people are gathered, you hear
many of them speaking at the same time without listening to one another. This
creates a tense environment, which culminate into brain strain.
To be successful in our lives, especially business, we must be able to
write, speak, and listen effectively. Of these three skills, effective
listening may be the most crucial because we are required to do it so often.
Unfortunately, listening also may be the most difficult skill to master.
Effective listening is challenging, in part, because people often are more
focused on what they are saying than on what they are hearing in return.
According to a recent study by the Harvard Business Review, people think the
voice mail they send is more important than the voice mail they receive.
Generally, senders think that their message is more helpful and urgent than do
the people who receive it.
Additionally, listening is difficult because people don't work as hard at
it as they should. Listening seems to occur so naturally that putting a lot of
effort into it doesn't seem necessary. However, hard work and effort is exactly
what effective listening requires.
Business executives, entrepreneurs, HRM, accountants and the likes must
listen to explanations, rationales, and defenses of financial practices and
procedures. They are constantly communicating with fellow employees whose
backgrounds range from accounting to finance to marketing to information
systems. In addition, explanations by fellow employees of any
"unusual" practices often pose a significant challenge to their
listening skills. Businessmen and women can use the following techniques to
improve their listening skills:
Concentrate on what others are saying. When listening to someone, do you often find
yourself thinking about a job or task that is nearing deadline or an important
family matter? In the middle of a conversation, do you sometimes realize that
you haven't heard a word the other person has said? Most individuals speak at
the rate of 175 to 200 words per minute. However, research suggests that we are
very capable of listening and processing words at the rate of 600 to 1,000
words per minute. Business people’s job today is very fast and complex, and
because the brain does not use all of its capacity when listening, their mind
may drift to thinking of further questions or explanations rather than
listening to the message at hand. This unused brainpower can be a barrier to
effective listening, causing someone to miss or misinterpret what others are
saying. It is important for people to actively concentrate on what others are
saying so that effective communication can occur.
Send the Non-verbal Message that You are Listening. When someone is talking to you, do you
maintain eye contact with that person? Do you show the speaker you are
listening by nodding your head? Does your body language transmit the message
that you are listening? Are you leaning forward and not using your hands to
play with things? Most communication experts agree that nonverbal messages can
be three times as powerful as verbal messages. Effective communication becomes
difficult anytime you send a nonverbal message that you're not really
listening.
Avoid Early Evaluations. When listening, do you often make immediate judgments about what the
speaker is saying? Do you assume or guess what the speaker is going to say
next? Do you sometimes discover later that you failed to interpret correctly
what the speaker was telling you? Because a listener can listen at a faster
rate than most speakers talk, there is a tendency to evaluate too quickly. That
tendency is perhaps the greatest barrier to effective listening. It is
especially important to avoid early evaluations when listening to a person with
whom you disagree. When listeners begin to disagree with a sender's message,
they tend to misinterpret the remaining information and distort its intended
meaning so that it is consistent with their own beliefs.
Avoid Getting Defensive. Do you ever take what another person says personally when what he or she
is saying is not meant to be personal? Do you ever become angry at what another
person says? Careful listening does not mean that you will always agree with
the other party's point of view, but it does mean that you will try to listen
to what the other person is saying without becoming overly defensive. Too much
time spent explaining, elaborating, and defending your decision or position is
a sure sign that you are not listening. This is because your role has changed from
one of listening to a role of convincing others they are wrong. After listening
to a position or suggestion with which you disagree, simply respond with
something like, "I understand your point. We just disagree on this
one." Effective listeners can listen calmly to another person even when
that person is offering unjust criticism.
Practice paraphrasing. Paraphrasing is the art of putting into your own words what you thought
you heard and saying it back to the sender. For example, a subordinate might
say: "You have been unfair to rate me so low on my performance appraisal.
You have rated me lower than Joe. I can do the job better than him, and I've
been here longer." A paraphrased response might be: "I can see that
you are upset about your rating. You think it was unfair for me to rate you as
I did." Paraphrasing is a great technique for improving your listening and
problem-solving skills. First, you have to listen very carefully if you are
going to accurately paraphrase what you heard. Second, the paraphrasing
response will clarify for the sender that his or her message was correctly
received and encourage the sender to expand on what he or she is trying to
communicate.
Listen and Observe for Feelings. When listening, do you concentrate just on the
words that are being said, or do you also concentrate on the way they are being
said? The way a speaker is standing, the tone of voice and inflection he or she
is using, and what the speaker is doing with his or her hands are all part of
the message that is being sent. A person who raises his or her voice is
probably either angry or frustrated. A person looking down while speaking is
probably either embarrassed or shy. Interruptions may suggest fear or lack of
confidence. Persons who make eye contact and lean forward are likely exhibiting
confidence. Arguments may reflect worry. Inappropriate silence may be a sign of
aggression and be intended as punishment.
Ask Questions. Do
you usually ask questions when listening to a message? Do you try to clarify
what a person has said to you? Effective listeners make certain they have
correctly heard the message that is being sent. Ask questions to clarify points
or to obtain additional information. Open-ended questions are the best. They
require the speaker to convey more information. Form your questions in a way
that makes it clear you have not yet drawn any conclusions. This will assure
the message sender that you are only interested in obtaining more and better
information. And the more information that you as a listener have, the better
you can respond to the sender's communication.
Listen Actively
Not everyone has to possess the same style of listening, but most who use
"active" listening will likely become much better listeners. Active
listening demands that the receiver of a message put aside the belief that
listening is easy and that it happens naturally and realize that effective
listening is hard work. The result of active listening is more efficient and
effective communication.
Are you an effective listener? Ask a peer that you communicate with
regularly and who you know will answer honestly to tell you of your listening
skills. We often view ourselves as great listeners when, in fact, others know
that we are not.
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